runaway runaway runaway I think a lot about the times I left my country I think a lot about the things that make me hungry like food, or truth, only had one as a youth, never knew better than to question the words and the proof, in the textbooks they cindered with which we were aloof, but still memorized inches upon inches of what they told us we never sought to confuse or refuse, or refuse, but now I refuse to be another sheep in the void, deck unprepared but just power-point thru, stories untold cos we / avoid the truth, employ the news, and excuse / away salaries could be / put in to use putting calories on plates of victims of systemic abuse, artists accused, art is refused, hard is to say, heart is obtuse, hard is to stay, sometimes I want to runaway runaway runaway I think a lot about the times I love my / nation, the ovations given, inspirations driven to patience never thought I’d be elated to leave, consequences debated but between love and complication it’s always simple explanations believed / / / / / / / but I think about the times we can find within the walls in our minds past tenses kickin balls over fences too tall to be weigh ing us down. but the weight of the ground, weight off the ground, still hanging around, hanging a round, a country world renowned at drowning feelings glass ceilings only crowning princes appealing to interests of the above, .gov the only website beloved, airtight restrictions and fairprice decisions made by politicians lacking conviction. no flaws derided, but by-laws abided like superstitious impositions never to be dethroned but it’s still ... it’s still –

sunsets tinged with feeling low never felt this kind of light before wherever we may choose to go cities like this won’t feel quite like home sunsets, quiet with the birds singing softly silent thru their words sunsets right around the time you would call me in, the dinner’s mine if this is home where i must be where my dreams feel out of reach if this is home that I must know why does it make me feel alone sunrise wants to start anew I’ve got no time to see the high-rise view all the troubles we go through the only truths i know are all untrue if this is home where i must be where my dreams feel out of reach if this is home that I must know why does it make me feel alone

every night, can’t sleep roll up, get lit can’t quit, count sheep like four six seven every night, can’t sleep wake up, repeat roll up, count sheep like four six seven it’s been a while, since i was tired, put my head down, my mind’s inspired by all these thoughts that keep me circlin, like (four six seven) that was a lie, cos I’ve been tired for months but I close my eyes, and empathize with paint left to dry on a wall or a koala bear forced to stay up, through the fall (four six seven) see I’ve / tried it all podcasts and playlists I prayed to God and like six other deities no coffee, just gin and some sprite and the whiskey I drank, I drank straight with no ice smoking good every night smoking good every night only this could keep me out of my mind goin out of my mind every night, can’t sleep roll up, get lit can’t quit, count sheep like four six seven four hundred and / sixty seven days straight I got fucked up every single night. I feel like that shit speaks for itself. yeah. it’s been a while, since I got faded took a good look in the back of my eyelids couldn’t find it, my mind it somehow it’s been a while, and these days I roll over on my dreams they wake me, but at least I’m not that hazy anymore every night can’t sleep hole up, toxic i quit, can’t quit like four six seven eight days eight days a daze a daze eight days a week I was with myself eight days a week I was with myself eight days haze too thick I still breathe in, I don’t seek my health I just keep myself dazed, eight days a week I was with myself eight days a week i was with myself

leave me the way you left me leave me with no regretti leave me on Thursdays and shut the door beside me leave me alone with worst days and first tastes of find me decline me inspire me, leave me leave me, yeah leave me the way you left me, leave me the way you left me leave me with things inside me leave me do not deprive me leave me don’t fight me leave me alone to hide behind the sorry self I put up to put up with you put up with me too much I leave me the way you left me, leave me the way you left me, i leave me the way you left me, leave me the way you left me, i leave me and fly out my body leave me and fly out my body leave me and fly out my body, leave me and fly out my – my body’s a vessel I wrestle with constantly entangled espresso and the peanut with caramel fell swoop and a loop away from hell my body’s a smell I can’t take to and take too long to figure out the wrong things with my self, with my health I got the wrong things on my shelf sing songs to get along, myth, get no wealth I don’t get strong i just sink and I dream of esteem and the things that I think will redeem me but mean-while I sleep and I sleep and it seems like I slip right between all the seams that are holding me in and I breathe and I sin, and I breathe, and I leave, and I – leaves falling off the branch never had a chance, never had a leaves, softly on the grass, only time will pass, only time will

never-mind, never-mind, never-mind, yeah yeah never-mind the things, never-mind the things don’t trip too long you’re gonna sink, don’t trip too long you’ll flip the script and think to drink away the sins never-mind the things behind your bed and in your dreams never-mind, never-mind, never-mind, yeah yeah never-mind all of the things that ya think, things that ya bring things that ya sing to sleep, every-night too bright every-thing too dim, always out of / breath never-mind the traf-fic too thick to bring me back death is a topic always on the top of my neck never-mind the hair on the floor still room for more trash in the bin bottles of gin on my window block out the night block out the light, block out the light yeah yeah never-mind all of the d/oubts in my mind all of the clouds in my head will embrace me and take me away to a better place than the one I a/m at I have all of these regrets but when I fall I try and I can’t recall all of the things that make me wanna (die) / wanna see the light of the sun one day cuz I haven’t seen it in a while it’s getting harder to smile when I’m by myself but the things on my shelf will keep me away from the pain of being awake for too long I put on a song when I’m feeling low I don’t think you know, that every night I face this chill, it feels better to fall than to stay still just close your eyes and keep in mind the things you forget you might find

I got this room for a weekend we’ll call it home for a weekend, yeah I’ve got your name on my day’s end, yeah yeah so won’t you stay with me stay, stay with me, mmmm and oh this air that we’re breathin we’ve got this love for a season, yeah we’ll build this house on a feelin’ so won’t you stay with me stay, stay with me five years no date big moon too late got left on the sidewalk, yeah dry tears won’t wait too soon mistakes were made, they’re my fault, yeah I thought I’d stay / entrenched in this purgatory but the story’s not right cuz you’re the light beside my bed that keeps me warm at night and you’re the right inside my head (right inside my head) that stops me fallin behind and when you fell into my world / you made it through the atmosphere / so won’t you stay right here with me ooh oh, stay yeah we will build this house on a feeling low walls, no ceiling take all you feel in side your heart, and we’ll write this from the start never had the patience for books but with you I’ll take my time, read it line by line and write an essay or two cuz you’re my mainstay gainst all of these things that’re gettin me down, yeah all my chains they break (all my chains they break) my feet are getting up off the ground and when I fly you take my fears and disappear them so right here you stay can? cuz we’ve got this room for a weekend we’ll call it home for a weekend, yeah I’ve got your name on my day’s end, yeah yeah so won’t you stay with me (oh won’t you stay with me, oh won’t you stay with me) stay, stay, stay stay with me, mmmm and oh this air that we’re breathin we’ve got this love for a season, yeah we’ll build this house on a feelin’ so won’t you stay with me (oh won’t you stay with me, oh won’t you stay with me) stay, stay with me

peacock in the cage we were from a young age peacock in the cage, yeah when i was seven yeah they sent me to school big cage in the front, yeah, and there were two big birds in the, peacocks in the with their feathers all spread, they must’ve thought we the youth bright colours find us closer but it made me confused early morning sunset, they never moved, too stuck in the too stuck in the never room, never space, and their moon-glazed eyes looked past never knew they sighed like (peacock) never heard them cry, yeah never heard them cry eight years old, i failed my first test, going home, stressed saw a poster on the wall by the peacocks’ nest Be the best, don’t be like the rest peacock in the cage, we were from a young age, peacock in the cage nine years old, momma signed me up for holiday class me and sis, makin worksheets n holiday math sunset comes, she gets a pencil cause she’s smart and I just cry in the backseat ten years old and sundays are spent in the study air-conditioned, pens gripped till the ink runs out. but there are pens stacked to the ceiling a feeling I can never shake, on afternoons too long like I should be somewhere with coffee i can’t afford, when I was eighteen I learned it feels good to go home long after the sun-set and I was proud of how much my hand ached, the ink-stains on my palms like proof of my worth and god’s green earth was not something I saw often instead lost in pages and sheets written just to be thrown some of my friends set them on fire and burned them slow but I kept them in my closet for years because i still wake up fists clenched and anxious I still wake up fists clenched and anxious peacock in the cage we were from a young age peacock in the cage, yeah

I still have A level dreams (yeah same but it’s so nice to wake up from those like oh god, the relief) the pure relief I had a dream the other day that we were still in school with you and at one point and we were all like, fucking around and everything and I was like, wait yam how much time do you have left you’re like, orh, I got one semester left and I was like how can you have one semester left la bodoh if I’m still here and I was like oh wait I’m asleep I really scolded you No since starting work I’ve had a lot of very mundane dreams Whereas when we were in school I would have these very like fantastical grand adventure dreams but then since starting work I’ll very often have dreams about the next day and then I’ll wake up and it will be the next day and I’ll have drea- and I’ll have long – I’ll have dreams about meetings I’ll have dreams about you know these emails I send and then the next day I just send the emails that’s fucking shag right? that’s shag I feel like I dream of ghosts as in like, different forms just like of things past or things that I think I know but actually are not

do you drive a nice car do you like to go to the spa do you sleep alone at night with your bible beside do you have a big house with all the dollars that you’ve compiled I know you don’t miss dad that’s alright but do you think about us at night dear mom I been thinkin bout the last time I saw you thinkin that it was the last time before you cut me off, off the phone, shut me off, all alone never thought I’d be the one, without you to call my best friend said I really did change a lot my hair length ‘sgone long to short, long to short yuh yuh, long to short, long to short uh the first two years were the worst birthdays no words said, you were a verse, too late the birds fed grew up and flew to school while you just sat and tried to sue and take your rightful part, with your hard heart turned the light to dark, cause I could not par-take in this wake for the love you had, yuh hearing you then only made me mad, uh hearing how you hated dad to his guts that part’s alright, cos he fucked you up kept you uptight all night, led you to your faith too twenty seven years he was never ever faithful so you made moves, set yourself free, I support that forget all the things you’d lose, I would call that natural collateral, things that make you fall back but how come when I call you don’t call back on track to a void, started when you only cared about the coin only had his money on your mind declined to find peace, piece of me feels like a signed lease, tossed aside when you’re done, since you’ve won, yuh did you think about the trees that you’ve burned, the tears you’ve earned three and half years to the day since I saw your face huh do you drive a nice car do you like to go to the spa do you sleep alone at night with your bible beside do you have a big house with all the dollars that you’ve compiled I know you don’t miss dad that’s alright but do you think about us at night i am scared of the dark of dreams too faded, scenes unshaded by trees cut down too soon, stumps left in the ground, the only sound I hear the slight ringing in my right ear, bright lights and white tears, light singing in your back-seat keeping me asleep, too deep to wake up but when i do, always not by choice from your packed lunches and wake-up calls I realize I don’t recall the sound of your voice do you miss me? or do your dreams sound like ice cream at the mall trust falls in empty hallways tall trees and quiet rides in your car beside a slow breeze much stronger I no longer know who you are so tell me why i still dream of you

do you – do you dream bro? huh? do you dream? I don’t dream I am living in reality dreaming can good sometimes too many dream you can hanging yourself one day some days I wake up and feel like I’m dreaming still stasis replaces the world that I know and I don’t know if my words are real realness becomes immaterial cereal thoughts with no milk seep through the surface my purpose is clouded with all of these shrouded entrails some days I wake up and feel like I’m living too still moving between what it seems to me ecstasy and some experience of hell the day job I hold stands between what I want for myself and my self wants the thrill of taking control of a life that regardless of my frame of mind has no will some days I wake up and feel like I’m dreaming still dreaming of, dreaming of dreaming of some days I wake up and feel like I’m dreaming still I dream I dream I dream I dream of blue skies and deep rivers technicolor life cut into telephone receivers hung dry with no occasion whole worlds mine for the taking I got out of my depression but my hands are still shaking back aching from this weight on my shoulders growing older in this country, means only left-overs for the hungry, dreams sent over big oceans, seams splitting from devotions given to a lifestyle dictated day job keep you sated satiated, no time for dreams but I’ve waited this long for rights to be wrong no longer stronger men have born and gone but my fears are still here while my peers veer off-shore I dream of more but I always wake up in –

tears are words the heart can’t express every time we look back on this moment it will be a moment of anguish I mean, for me it is a moment of anguish because all my life (I dream I dream I dream I dream) I dream of the day things will be farther dream of the day things will be better dream of the day, where people smile at each other dream of the day, I dream of the day where tears won’t need to fall from my face and I dream of the day won’t walk away from fears or fears are replaced by warm embraces taste of home means not torn between day and dream day or dream, day or dream i I dream of the day it’s all behind us dream of the day you won’t define us sick of the ways, the different ways you bind us with words like knives they cut inside and find us bleeding dreams they spill out my head I breathe out instead I stay out my bed I just make my bread I just make my bread I just take, you said I take what you said I regurgitate I re - I dream of the day I’ve got a view I dream of the day I give a shit I dream of the day I’ve got a kid I dream of the day I’ve got a house and a car and a country club, and a credit card and I don’t live very far from my folks house only things left on my mind are my own doubts regrets in scenes I’ll never act out how it goes down, everybody knows how everybody knows how you play sports you better tap out an artist better get out won’t get far this scene’s already bled out this city everybody so stressed out so stressed out confess now, confess now never had a dream, never stepped out never made a scene, never expressed doubt never had a dream, never stretched out never in between never spoke with my chest out never broke routine never had a dream, never stepped out never made a scene, never expressed doubt never intervened only went unseen never fleshed out thoughts, never took my shot only went out cold, only went out cold stories left untold, never wrote my plot let my fears control, did what I was told did what I was told my tears are made of gold so when I cry at least I’m in control of my time, my necktie will console it takes too much to be bold my tears are made of gold so when I cry at least I’m in control of my time, my necktie will console it takes too much to be bold I dream of the day things will be farther dream of the day things will be better dream of the day, where people smile at each other dream of the day, I dream of the day where tears won’t need to fall from my face you see, the whole of my adult life I have believed in you know, it’s a people who connected by geography and ties of kinship would you mind if we stopped for a while?

when the world gets crazy I’ve been thinkin lately wont you dive in with me and this sinkin feelin I can feel it changing I can breathe in all these thoughts I’ve hated all these days you’ve waited I can see the sky and the stars theyre takin all the days we gave them to the night and I am singing ooh maybe just for a while we can cross paths in the night maybe just for a while as the earth turns from dark to light when the world gets crazy I’ve been thinkin lately wont you dive in with me and this sinkin feelin I can feel it changing I can breathe in ooh

the loves of my life are all i have in life the loves of my life they make my lefts turn right the loves of my life they only ask for my tiiiiiiimeeee the loves of my life are all I have the loves of my life are all I have to have the time to find never mind the work on my mind I’ll fall behind lines that confine me, come find me have a half a mind to shine, but the things that I let go all in good time, from the get go I only saw signs that I had no steps to take going down uphill climb left turn, turn around there’s no/ thing left to say that can bring me down ‘cept the things that I think still make me frown still make me drown, yeah ten years old, had a dream, took ten years to admit that I sing and ten years more that’ll bring me crowns but not from kings see everything that I did know everything new from the shop thru the window everything blue from the top to the tip-toe I tip-toe downtown when the wings glow got a long shot and its hot but I swing tho, I swing tho, yeah the loves of my life are all I have the loves of my life are all I have to have the time to find never mind the work on my mind I’ll fall behind lines that confine me come find me have a half a mind to shine, but the things that I let go, all in good time, from the get go and you can’t slow down or you get slow or you get mowed down and you / can’t grow I been givin out love like I’m Hasbro with both arms I know there’s no harm in tellin my bros that I / love you but it’s hard tho when it’s hard tho, have a part that’ll shine thru of my heart, it reminds you, of, all, of the sparks that’s inside u sharks terrify you, still love the ocean commotion crazy won’t chase you away never heard you say yeah but that’s cuz I don’t call even tho I said I would I don’t call y’all as much as I should cos the loves of my life they’re all I have the loves of my life are all I have to have to find the time never mind the work on my mind I’ll fall behind lines that confine me come find me have a half a mind to shine, but the things that I let go, all in good time, from the get go and I let go of and I let go and I let go of, and I, let go off of the rail, off of the ledge, back on the trail, words on the page turned for a new leaf, leaves burned and I’m using things learned for my own sake reach out when I’m okay reach out, I’ll be okay reach out I’ll be okay still got a dream, still got a dream, yeah still as it seems, still as it seems still got a dream, yeah

woke up this morning with the sun on my face, yeah i tore off all my gauze and said that I’m on the way, yeah sun gon shine again, sun gon shine again, yeah yeah sun gon shine again, sun gon shine again, yeah yeah woke up this mornin feelin like a new man with a new plan, yeah nothin gonna hold me down when I gotta dance, yuh impress me with those sorry eyes, inside find me another time, another life woke up this mornin feelin, woke up woke up feelin, sunlight on my skin cuz sun gon shine again, sun gon shine again, yeah yeah sun gon shine again, sun gon shine again, yeah every day, need a new way, need a new day, yeah yeah got a dream, gotta make it in, yeah, know it seems kinda dim but the light shine, and we can’t stop, tryna find the things that might make it bright, that keep us from fallin cos I woke up this morning feelin like (yuh) sun gon’ shine again, sun gon’ shine again, yeah yeah sun gon’ shine again, sun gon’ shine again, yeah yeah so my question to young people would be do you dream?